diyan

I missed my was.

I hate the feeling of extremely submissive The worst emotion created is guilt. No human can bear this emotion, that’s why all we need to do is to avoid. This is the conscience i a talking abt. Emotion comes in different forms, guilt is worst for it simply disturb everything. I think even without religion or law, your conscience wouldn't let you kill people, wouldn't let you do immoral acts, wouldn’t let you hurt people because your emotion can never hold guilt. It harms everything, when guilt fill in your emotion cup, all other emotions in the universe has to leave the cup. You can never feel happy neither tranquil for the universe is not inside you anymore. As much as we want to avoid, sometimes it just unavoidable. Bc there can always be pressure and triggers out there that will make guilt haunt you. Someday, i will find myself someone, who will take me out of this mess. And by that I didn’t mean i will leave this dark deep ocean. It is still my place, but maybe i will ...

Katakanlah; Puisi malam Yang tersusun indah Adalah bunga merah Nan menyerlah, Maka; Kesedihan Dan kekecewaan Adalah seluasa taman Ianya ditemukan. 🌷 #22062018

That day, maybe you were looking for punctuation marks to put to our relationship. I imagined you scribbled through the choices of marks you have. Unfortunately you were not even confused. You gave a coma; unknowingly if the sentence of our rs will be continued, or hang right there. I was in a sea of question marks. That day, it was far from your imagination how vulnerable i had been-- of your fears and your words. I am not that kind of girl who would spam your chats asking why. I respect all your say. That day, you never knew how anxious i was. My pills was not helping-- and finally it only slow down my heart beats when i was overdose. Closing eyes was not calming, deep breath was nothing but in vain. None could see that my heart may pound hard but it is indeed dead. The death with no grave. That day, I did not know where to find my comfort. I grab my car key and drove off to where i call home; no hesitation, no second thoughts. Never you know how that journey was a painful struggl...

Of 365 days you could ruin, Why today? Of all the feelings you could fake, Why love? Of countless words you could say, Why lies? Of lists of promises you could give, Why poisons? And Of so many people you could hurt, Why me?

"Ditunggu berapa lama kau mahu menjadi bunga?"   "Sehingga datang sepasang tangan" "Yang bagaimana?" "..." Tempoh hari, pokok itu cuma benih. Tak terzahirkan oleh mata; diam bisu dikatup tanah. Kemudian hujan datang menyimbah nyimbah-- tanah berkolam, benih tenggelam. Dikira begitulah mati tetapi datang pula sang matahari-- terik membahang, kering kontang. Benih sudah mula akur barangkali inilah takdir tuhan; mati kehausan, kemarau ketandusan. Satu Dua Tiga Hari hari terus berlalu. Ada sepasang tangan kiriman tuhan menyampaikan air kepada tanah. Sepertinya nyawa kembali disambung, seolah satu roh kembali hidup. Benih bercambah menjadi pohon-- baja ditabur, tanah menyubur. Asbab tangan yang sama itulah, bunga yang dulu dipersoal kewujudannya kini sudah mekar. Dibajai cinta yang disangka ikhlas, tulus, suci dan bersih, maka bunga terus mekar mekar dan mewangi. Begitulah hidup, Erti Makna Definisi cinta itu berubah-ubah. Tang...

If you came to me with a face I have not seen, with a voice I never heard, I would still know you.  Even if centuries separated us,  I would still find you-- Somewhere between the sand and the stardust, Through every collapse and creation, There is a pulse that echoes of you and I. When we leave this world, We give up all our possessions and our memories. Love is the only thing we take with us; It is all we carry from one life to the next 

I like our random talks That makes me alive We understand us And that is everything i could ask Thank you

"A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part ...

Redup siang ini menenangkan; Angin membuai bahasanya-- Hari ini dingin. Redup matamu membahagiakan; Cinta yang dulu berpuput lagi-- Hati ini ingin.

Pahit  jangan terus dibuang  Manis  jangan terus ditelan.

Untuk kesekian kalinya Kau ditemukan lagi dengan persimpangan Yang memerlukan pilihan Ke kiri atau ke kanan? Diberi sifir di dalam kehidupan Bahawa berhenti di simpang itu Tidak boleh berlama lama-- "Apabila seseorang di antara kamu ditimpa keluh kesah dalam menetapkan sesuatu perkara; maka berwudhulah dan bersolatlah dua rakaat sunnah seraya berdoalah dengan doa istikharah" We always asked where is the god-sent answer, it doesnt seem to be there; obvious and clear. In the end of the day, you will be forced to move, whether you are ready or not, you've got to go. And that just mean-- you have to choose your path. Little that we know, that is the answer. For whatever choice you have chosen or for however decisive you are; you still will regret your own decision at some point of life. And when that comes, acceptance will be the only way of calming yourself. Just accept that this is your best and all you have to do is to make it worth in the end. No one knows their f...

2017 was a long year. I grew wiser  I grew stronger And better, than before. But, there's one place i miss the most. And it just happeed to be here. I am back.